lightwithin | 4th ♥ Plantfection [Audio]

What do you know about infections?

[He bites his lip, immediately thinking about the type of infection that only recently was the cause of his gruesome death. No, it couldn't be that. Don't get so worked up over potentially nothing.]

Rather unpleasant if you continue to let them grow. Better to clean and drain the infected area quickly! A clean leech or small cut is all. Perhaps covering it in an herbal mix or cream would help.

[Yes, dear. Leeches.]

If you require assistance with any of that, please let me know.

Leech?

[As in. The blood-suckers?]

Mhm! Why, yes! Nature's little miracle cure. One or two will not drain more than needed, of course! And even then, it's only the bad blood so there's absolutely no risks involved.

[Yes. Malkus found out the proper amount of leeches after MUCH trial and error and quite a bit of "Sorry"s "My bad"s and "I'm sorry your friend is a bloodless husk"s.]

Okay. Thank you. I'll remember. If I need your help.

[She really hopes she doesn't need to be leeched.]

Of course, dear. I am happy to help.

[Malkus is still worrying about that infection. And oh god is it possible that he might have spread it somehow. If that's the case, he will never forgive himself AGAIN. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING.]

How stupid are you?

...

...

...

[Well then.]

Pardon?

[THAT'S IT LADY. YOU. ME. OUTSIDE BY THE FLAG POLE. THREE O' CLOCK. Only not really, since a Plague Doctor is used to being belittled. Religious types never did appreciate the scientific and calculating methods of medicine, rather than relying on faith.]

[Kloe would beat him up anyhow.]

Leeches don't do jack squat. Quit giving injured people false information about health. You'll kill them that way.

[Sigh.]

And I suppose faith and the acts of God shall put them right back in good health? Prayer has it's own ways of healing. Yes. But do not be angry at new, advanced practices of medicine. The studies have been done and leeches have been proven to remove any black bile and excess phlegm from the body, putting them back into the proper balance of the four humours.

[It seems Malkus will have to educate Kloe in the art of Humorism.]

[Malkus you've just made Kloe's day.

Because now she is laughing hysterically at you.]

[Y'know that feeling like everyone is in on some sort of joke but you? Malkus has that feeling for some reason.]

Ahead of their time, perhaps, but these methods provide results. What!

Do you, you know, sprinkle magical holy water on people, too, to cast out demons?

[Snerk.]

Sometimes.

You're whack.

H-Huh? I do not understand. Unless your culture has different ways of treatment...

[There's a sudden jump in his tone of voice. Perhaps he can learn something as well as teach it!]

Perhaps we may compare notes?

I think it'd be less note sharing and more me correcting all your false information.

[There's a slightly embarrassed pause.]

I admit that I may have been here quite some time. There is a chance that a new breakthrough or two have been discovered but- erm...

...

Has another Humour been discovered? O-Or... A different mix of herbs?

[False information is the reason Malkus pretty much killed most of his patients. He's still a bit shaken up by that sometimes.]

Well, for one thing, there's not such thing as "humors".

[AHA. GOT YOU.]

N-No no no. There is such a thing and there is irrefutable evidence of such! You cannot deny the existence of blood. Nor of yellow bile located in the stomach. Have you never coughed up phlegm from it's source? The lungs?

[Malkus hasn't really seen bile that is black anywhere but corpses, so he leaves that bit out.]

Bile is stored in the gallbladder.

[There's a pause.]

...Is it?

[The doctor will be sure to write that down in his notes.]

Yet it still exists in the human body. Fire and Earth. Yellow and black.

Yeah. It exists. What the fuck is that fire and black mumbo jumbo.

Bile comes in two colors each to their own elements. Yellow bile and earth. Black bile and fire. Blood is to water as phlegm is to air. If the body does not have proper balances of each, it rejects whatever excess is left.

[He nods, having memorized all of this during his studies.]

4th ♥ Plantfection [Audio]

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